I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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