oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
3pm strippers are depressing
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
