i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
