It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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