i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
