It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize