i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize