can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
