used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize