In the future we'll all be gay
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
