See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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