She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
