"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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