so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
