Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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