just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
