life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
