i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
