guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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