I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize