So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We talked him into tasing himself.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
