i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
