i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
