That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
