According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
