me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
