You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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