Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
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