Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
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I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
COCAINE IS GR8
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You are a genius and a whore.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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