Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
