Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
