Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
