I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
