I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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