All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
