A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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