Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have already put on my inside pants.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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