im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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