Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
