You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
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Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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