Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
