you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
