Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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