I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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