I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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