I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Your penis caused this!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
