I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
