I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
