I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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