I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize