I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
