dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
