Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
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U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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