I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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