no, he came in my armpit
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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