I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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