don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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