I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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