We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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